1, 2, 3, 4...

TWEET ON SMSYO.COM

2009-09-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

Fucking shitass jibai exhausted.

2009-02-01T00:33:00.004+08:00

Ever since the jibai school ended I've been sleeping at averagely 5.30 a.m in the morning. CNY was worst because I remember myself sleeping at 7 in the morning after Mahjong and the rest of the days' sleeping times were 5, 6 or 7 a.m. I will not be surprised if I look like a motherfucking panda next week but I do know that if I don't stop this fucking sleeping disorder I'll literally die. Be it my mood, or my fucking face. I h8 panda eyes. I h8 horrible skin.

Now please excuse me while I go lie on my bed. I have not been sleeping on it for about a week or so. Bah.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2009-01-26T04:08:00.003+08:00

Nbcb, it's 4.50 a.m and I am still wide awake! I spent my Lunar New Year wishing my grandma was right by my side eating reunion dinner with me and first few hours of official Chinese New Year with J and friends for a movie, 'Love Matters'. Go watch it 'cos it's fucking funny!

Hao came to my place because I am his special-and-very-nice hairstylist...

I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF!!! His tail area is kinda fucked but I'll fix that when I see him again! Gonna try inner-cut, which he has been wanting to achieve. But I think I did awesome (considering I never dared to touch/cut/shave/dye anyone's hair before) so shut up ah you all I tell you all ah.

HANDSOMEEE BOY!!!

Sorry that I made you bald on a small batch. HAHAHAHA. HAIR WILL GROW!!!

Happy Chineseeee New Year to all aliens out there who are celebrating! Don't think about how fat bak gua would make you, lighten up and enjoy these special days with your family. If you are close to your grandmama, keep her close to you always because you'll never know when you're gonna lose the chance to.

And don't fret about some of your ang baos with little $$$ because it's the thoughts that count. No matter how much you get, spend them wisely and share it!

P.S: If you need a hairstylist... you know who to call. HAHAHA.

Nam Dai huat ah!

2009-01-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

I was watching Red Cliff with C and his family, was trying fucking hard not to sleep. Not that it was a boring show, I was bloody tired I could sleep on a stranger's penis. But, of course, I did not close my eyes. How can a woman close her eyes when...

THIS MAN IS ACTING?!

Kua kua kua... although he looks like that in the movie...

BUT HE IS fuckfuckfuckfuckingcbnbknn hot! HAHAHA. I kept whispering to C that "OMG... HE'S DAMN HANDSOME OK" and "Wah lan eh! Jing Chen Wu is damn hot!". C must have felt like shit but everyone would feel like shit standing beside Takeshi Kaneshiro. His looks PWNSZ every single man out there trying to look sexy with jeans + slippers + jibai cardigan + a freaking handbag!!!

WHY?! WHY SINGAPORE NO HAB DIZ KIND OFFFF MANNN?!

Okokokokay, Tony Leung also buay pai (a.k.a, not bad).

"O rly?"

HAHA, he must have cried behind the scenes because Takeshi is just a freaking ex-farmer in the movie (and a pro warlord) and he is soooo hot!!! HAHAHAHA. Ok enough.

After the movie...

Estelle: "Baby? Can I orh orh with you tonight?"
Clifton: "I was just thinking about that! It's late after movie. Come my place and sleep!"
Estelle: "Ok!"

HEHEHEHEHAHHAHAHEHEHAHHIKAHIAKHIAK. I know, I'm such a baby sometimes. But he treats me like a baby hheheheohohohohohohehehee.

Next morning, I was invited by morning breeze and nostalgia... What a feeling. What a fucking feeling after not stepping into Nam Dai for 7 months.

Awesome.

I'll be back soon! ;)

Dangling... WHAT?!

2009-01-21T00:22:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH...

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I'M SO SORRY! I CAN'T HELP IT... HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Grandma's 100th day.

2009-01-18T21:47:00.006+08:00

Cousin Seany and I :)

At the end of the night...

It's been 100 days... it's... weird to be back at Toa Payoh, having feast, chatting over dinner, playing card games and of course, the legendary rounds of Mahjong. Without grandma. We prayed for her, hoping that she has friends and family up there, hoping that she's doing super good up there, hoping that one day she'll come back and talk to us again.

A hugeeee thank you to my mummy who prepared all the good food. It was so good that everything was swiped off soooo quickly. Grandma's house is very small thus the place was fucking congested. But you know, I love the feeling. The coziness, the warmth and the people (some).

Some irritating idiots had to turn up late for the praying session. Some stupid idiots (nope, not Ness... it's... hehe) had no time to come on a damn fine Sunday. If I could, I would use a sniper and shoot their nipples.

Dad was a funny drunk but he could still drive if you minus away the... occasional slips off the lane, constant hi-5-ing with my mum for nothing (-_-) and driving fast... and then... s...l...o...w randomly.

"EHHHHK! I want my beer."

Just kidding :)

TAGGED.

2009-01-17T22:36:00.002+08:00

1. I eat a lot, more than what you think.

2. I despise slow walkers, I don't care if I am mean. MUAHAHA.

3. I hate boys who don on jeans with slippers. GET A LIFE?!

4. I am fucking impatient. Like I will totally slap you if you take about more than 20 seconds to get out of your seat and then alight from the bus.

5. I secretly oogle on hot bungs. They could be hot girls.

6. I always find myself dreaming to walk around a country with just a bagpack and camera.

7. I don't understand why people OMG, WTH at girls who speak profanities. Fuck you.

8. I once ate Pastamania 3 days straight. I can do better.

9. I have 11 pairs of sneakers and 1590 pairs of shoes.

10. I love french kissing. LOL.

11. I love cars. I often fantasize about... having them. (BMW BMW BMW GTR GTR GTR)

12. Before I changed to Flock browser, my I.E browser had about 600+++ Youtube favourited files. I used to skip sleeping for Youtube.com. Amen.

13. I want a nose job. 'Cos I don't have a freaking nose bridge.

14. I was once obsessed with my boyfriend. I was crazy.

15. I love cycling. I'll go anywhere you want me to.

16. I like guys with tattoos. Esp. full sleeve with crazy tribal designs.

17. I am always, unknowingly, attracted to guys who are 180 cm and above.

18. But that doesn't mean I am unfaithful. I love C very, very much.

19. I don't mind working, earning and cooking for C. I don't mind if I am the one supporting the family, I don't mind if we do not have to get married, I don't mind if we have to live in a small house. Because I love him. But I believe we won't be in such state. I am just telling you that I can do whatever it takes and stickwithim.

20. Today, I wore my panty inside out. I told my bestmalefriend about it.

Jotebook.

2009-01-17T02:46:00.003+08:00

OMG I just shat (past tense of: shit) the crap out of my ass and I am feeling a tad bit giddy!!! LOL I know it's a little LOL but really! The moment I stood up after ass-cleaning, my head was spinning a little. It was a damn good shitting man seriously, I cleared EVERYTHING! HEHEHE.

Sex Is Zero 1
Sex Is Zero 2
Meet Dave
Bring It On - In It To Win
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Wedding Crashers
Camp Rock
Euro Trip
Norbit
College
100 Girls
27 Dresses
Over Her Dead Body
50 First Dates
Who Slept With Her (some korean college movie...)
Love Guru

Okokay, so now I left with... Twilight (no, I hate Edward Cullen I hate him. I don't get it, why are all the girls having orgasm over him man?! Seriously, pick Michael Copon to orgasm over. Please. I hate Robert whatever Son name he has.), Wanted, I Am Legend, P.S I Love You (I have NOT watch this yet... since so fucking long ago but I think I have the courage to watch now. Winks.) and A lot Like Love.

WOOOOOO.

Wait, I think I still have SAW movies 1 to 5...

I am not watching it.

I am not.

Please don't, Estelle. You will die.

Ok I won't.

I'M GOING TO WATCH A LOT LIKE LOVE NOWWWWZA.

I wanna thank my friends.

2009-01-16T14:13:00.004+08:00

Hi! I know I am such a loser, leaving my blog alone for... sleep. Yes, I slept at 20:00 and woke up at 07:00 in the morning! HAHAHA. I would love to spend some quiet time thinking about my friends and appreciate them here in my blog but I can't think str8 now so I will do it at home.

I was texting my silly C just now...

E: "baby ! next time if i'm free, i buy lunch for you at work can anot ! suddenly i feel like being a cute and sweet wife !!! LOL LOL LOL !" (Err yes, this is my sms style.)

C: "hahaha ! i thought of asking you to do that before ! wahahahaha !"

E: "HAHAHA OKOK ! i go plan what food to buy ! LOL you'll become fatter ! WOO I LOVE YOU TEDDY BEAR !"

C: "HAHAHAHAHA ! BUT I WANT TO SLIM DOWN ! don't like that lah ! i love you sweetheart ! you're the sweetest !" (Err yes, we have similar sms style...)

I've been thinking about buying him lunch everyday when my holidays are here. Hehe, he's gonna get so fat because I am buying his lunch at... MAXWELL HAWKER CENTRE! Fucking heaven there ok, the food is AMAZING.

Later guys!

/ Edit

OMG.

C: "hahahaha ! my mother wants to see you ! she misses you !"

E: "REALLY MEH !!! BABY DON'T SCARE ME I FEEL THAT I'M GOING TO PEE IN MY PANTS LEH !"

LOL.

I could be better.

2009-01-15T10:58:00.003+08:00

An escapade after Chinese New Year! I cannot wait. Nope, I am not going overseas of course... maybe Bintan during March. But after CNY, I'll be staying over at C's. MUAHAHAHA! Which means I am going to meet his mother again. I am freaking out a little bit but the thought of spending nights (he works in the day) with C excitezzzz me!

Anyways I met him on Monday...

Estelle: "So when's our turn? To get married?"
Clifton: "OHH! This year, okay? We can go R.O.M."
Estelle: "Seriously? HAHAHAHA ok!"
Clifton: "You're gonna get married to me, right?"
Clifton: "RIGHT?!"
Estelle: "HAHAHA of course baby, who else!"

I love talking. I love exchanging conversations with the man I love. He's such a joy to talk to...

I wanna live in a house like that with him... but of course it's not really gonna happen. Because he likes his stuff modern... he likes Zen and contemporary image. But for me, I love washed woods, country interior, brick walls, fire place (although we don't need 1, at all), comfy sofas... A house where I can put a lot a lot a lot of photo frames, candles...

Ok I'll be right back... I am a little stoned.

Maybe I needed that.

2009-01-13T20:59:00.002+08:00

I feel sad... I feel really down. I wanna move out of my house. I wanna stay at baby's house, for a time being... I need him very much now. Fuck RP. Now I don't know what I wanna do with my entire fucking education shit. I wanna move out... I wanna move out... I wanna find myself with my parents and family. I want to know what I clearly want... I am crushed. I don't know... I am crushed.

All the single ladies... the boys did their thang.

2009-01-12T08:45:00.006+08:00

Amazing boys... (Second video, that's Justin Timberlake at the extreme left... ROFL.)

Soccer match.

2009-01-11T22:53:00.002+08:00

Estelle: "Everytime I see 'West Ham. U., I feel hungry."
Hao: "WHY?!"
Estelle: "'Cos it's like HAM? You know, HAM. I feel hungry. Reminds me of Western Bacon Hamburger in Carl's Junior... HAM. Hungry. Ham..."

I remember.

2009-01-10T23:14:00.004+08:00

1.
There are a lot of things I can't do or say in a very much matured relationship (with C, of course). An attention seeker is one who seeks attention and to him and many others; it is a some sorta... major annoyance. As a woman in a matured relationship, I cannot really seek my wanted attention because the man would say, "C'mon, don't you know me?! Haven't you understand already?! HAVEN'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW OU.." OK, CUT. Stop. You know I'm doing really good with C. It's just one of those nights where I think about how amusingly... stable our relationship is. I, constantly, do not want to screw things up. So I am thinking about how I should suck in my wants for attention. I'm not young anymore, I don't whine - and I don't want to.

2.

Not-so-secret.

I don't wish for this but it's the truth. I face the truth everyday and I do not deny how fucked up it is. Yes, above is my current handwriting (I change them, it's my mood - get it?) and I feel... as solemn as ever about my family. I hope the shame fades away because I really do love my family.

3.
I don't like blogging about my purchases because I think the point of telling people your purchases is pointless. Say, you bought a skirt. Yeah. That's it. You bought a skirt. Point of the story? It's lovely and you bought a skirt. Well done.

4.
I like true bloggers. Bloggers who blog about how they feel about this and that. Not bloggers who blog about where they go, Orchard, Cineleisure, Heeren then we went to Chinatown for dimsum. After that met up with A and B, bumped into C and D and hung out with E. E says that bitch is so ugly but F still fucked her anyway like OMG. Oh yes ME SO HAPPY TO SEE G and bumped into H, I, J, K, L... That's all, BB, xoxo. Maybe if you touch your heart about a lot of issues, your blog would be much more interesting.

5.
I cannot stand bimbo blogs. But contradictingly, I read them to get myself pissed. But I don't do tagboard wars, so no worries.

6.
I'm going out with C soon. Which means I get to see him after so long. The anticipation - you know how it feels? It feels fucking awesome.

Goodnight.

She saw me...

2009-01-10T15:01:00.003+08:00

Brought my lil baby Piggy out for a walk because I was outside my house and she was staring me through the door like a poor little bored doggy. The look in her eyes was... woah. So I decided to make her happy!

Overweight bitch.

And yes... it was really windy.

His new blog.

2009-01-09T22:01:00.002+08:00

Please visit the ~~homo's~~ bestfriend's blog - yyihaoo.blogspot.com. I just decorated it for him and he'd better fucking blog. Anyhoos, link him babies!

Great losses in life.

2009-01-09T02:46:00.008+08:00

http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries

I was reading through the history of Bettie Page and came to know the cause of her death. It was heart attack on 2nd of December and she was on life support ever since then. She passed away recently. I am not sure when was the exact date of her death but it's sad... because she was 85. And it makes me think about my grandma living 4 years longer than her. Grandma. She was strong, a female warrior and she is still amazing to me. 89. Yes, 89... and then I am now, feeling sad over the loss of my grandma (again). I know, what a cycle.

Bettie at the brim of her career.

Bettie Page was a hot pinup legend, a photograph of her taken by an amateur camera was enough to make guys cum in their pants. I wonder if my grandma was hot when she was younger. Makes you think, no? I don't have photos of her when she was younger. I wish I had.

Wah lau, why am I thinking about this at 3.00 am in the morning?

I miss you, grandmother.

Adam is my Sandler.

2009-01-09T00:49:00.006+08:00

I finished 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry' and it's aweeeeeesome! Adam Sandler will always be my ~~sexual, physical and mind-fucking~~ fantasy.

Seriously if he's gay, I'd cut my breasts off and attach a dick to my ***** so then maybe, he'd fall for me. I LOVE ADAM SANDLER!!! HAHA.

Wait a minute... there are new movies!

Bride Wars (I wanna catch this!)
Marley & Me (This too!)
Seven Pounds (Maybe one day if I feel a little too serious about life I'd watch this. I usually don't pick movies like this but... I don't know. I feel that I gotta watch it, you know?)
Bedtime Stories (OMG ADAM SANDLER! I watched it already!)
Yes Man (Watched! AWESOME MOVIE.)

I hope C has the time for me to go on a date with me for a movie. :(

Conversations.

2009-01-08T13:09:00.004+08:00

I was shitting in the toilet one fine day and C called.

C: "Hello, baby!"
E: "Oh hello! Erm I'm shitting in the toilet..."
C: "Oh!"
E: "Yeah... haha."
C: "I love you baby."
E: "Love you too."

:)

-

Wendy: "Hey, you know Michael Kors?"
Estelle: "Is he like a designer or something?"
Wendy: "Yeah! He was on my flight omg I took a picture with him."

-

Mum: "EH CAN YOU STOP WEARING BRA?!"
Estelle: "HUH?! ME? STOP WEARING BRA?"
Mum: "Need to use hands and wash leh!"
Estelle: "How can I not wear a damn bra?!"

Bring it on.

2009-01-08T02:12:00.002+08:00

I just started a movie, 'Bring It On - In It To Win' and I figured that all the damn cheerleaders in the world are so happy-looking and... yeah, cheery. It's a pretty tough hobby, no? Sometimes you have to pretend to be happy and cheer when you know the last night your heart just got broken. Or... maybe something bad happens but when the performance starts you have to smile. Smile when you are sad. And cheer when you are about to cry.

Cheerleaders are so pretentious.

In a good way.

C.

2009-01-07T23:01:00.003+08:00

I hate C sometimes, he's such a workaholic to an extend of not taking offs in one week or two. And this week he's just occupied with work and I, his beloved wifey, has to wait for his next off - which is NEXT WEEK.

I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.

It is ALWAYS the case! The first time we got back together (again), we met after like... 5 days later. And and and the VERY VERY VERY first time, took months later for us to see each other! Gosh I feel like we are already married, we know so much about each other! Frankly, I think we could just get married. I know him for so long... say, 4 years?

Amazing.

I really feel like giving a punch in his face because I really, really, really want to see him and give him a big squishy cuddle because he's just like a teddy bear.

I know C mysteriously pops up of nowhere in my blog so... I'm just going to briefly say a thing or two or more about him.

He has this... really awful temper, which, he tries to control most of the time when I irritate him. But when I go overboard, his eyes burn with flames but I always cry after looking into his eyes, so the flames turn into ashes and he hugs me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. The powerlization of girls crying, don't pray pray!

He loves food, just as much as I do. But he likes taking eating into a whole new level, he eats... say, almost everything. Err, even oysters, which I really abhor. And coriander stupid flower or leaves because they taste so bad. He eats everything. Everything.

He thinks a lot, just like me. Thinks too much for his own damn good, or think about problems, issues in his life, thinks about me and my retarded problems I have with him, thinks about ways to solve a particular question or whatever problems. And I KNOW it when he's thinking seriously. Still, his thoughts get disrupted after hearing my stupid voice. But like, 10 seconds later, he starts thinking again.

He works and he earns for himself and his family. I don't like to take his money because I think I can handle it with my own allowance. It's good to give men their financial space. I like to share because I feel that it'll make us closer together, like we have no worries about financial issues because you know, we share. I don't care how much you have, you don't care how much I have. When you don't have enough, I'll pass you some $$$ and when I don't have enough, you'll pass me. Right, baby?

We travel. No wait, I think I travel more than he does. He lives in Jurong West and I, live in... Bishan. HAHA.

Okay, this is fucking wordy. Byebye!

Oh wait, his name is Clifton btw! LOL.

In my head, in your head.

2009-01-06T23:28:00.003+08:00

Resolutions; what are they? They are just some goals I'd never reach. Goals that far exceed my abilities but I am going to just note down what I have in mind. Some resolutions...

To be nicer to my parents. Yes, forget the past, will you, Estelle?
Watch my language. Profanities play a big role in my life and since it's bad, I need to cut down. Even if it's by 10%, I'd be glad enough.
Be less cynical. I can't help it, I'm true to myself and how I feel about a lot of things. But I'll try, it's kinda bad.
To make C happy - always, everyday and forever.
Manage my time, juggle it well between family, friends and C.
Save money, save it in my little piggybank. Just in case, C needs medical fees for broken arms and legs. Kidding. Save more money for emergency cases like... seeing a pair of fuckin' nice Onitsuka shoes, take the money and buy it. Kidding, again. I mean, have a little financial backup, no? :)
Bring Piggy out for more walks.
To excel in RP (this is a lie, a big fat lie).

The end.

Just another post.

2009-01-06T08:51:00.004+08:00

1.
When I was younger, in the past, I used to think that forgetting an anniversary is like forgetting your wedding ring on the wedding day. I'd get so mad with C but I wouldn't tell him because he'd feel so lousy.

C: "OH damn, both of us forgot! Anniversary was on the 4th! DAMN!"

HAHA. I didn't forget! I just thought that maybe we don't need to celebrate or even wish each other, you know? 'cos we are a pair of old man and wife! Plus I'd be mad if you forget, so why should I bother?

C: "I love you lah, bunbun!"

(Err yes he likes to call me bunbun...)

But now, I don't think it matters anymore... :)

2.
How easy for all you rich fuckers to say what you wanna do, where you wanna study. Right, yall wanna go Australia or America or China to study... I know. I just don't like it when people brag about how they plan to go some atas countries to study. I know you can handle the fees, I know you can have all the money in the world to live there. But seriously, don't brag. I love studying in Singapore.

3.
I don't like hassle and fuss. Which is the reason why I rarely speak to girls because they are so whiny. It scares me to live up to a certain standards that girls have. I see myself as a boy so it's kinda hard for me to relate to girls. I get very stressed on how to please girls especially when they are my bestfriends. Actually I only have 2, so thank Lord.

4.
I love 'The Man Who Can't Be Moved'.

5.
Oh great, today's Science test and I, smartly, downloaded Cognitive module's 6th presentations for reference. Bravo!

Sentosa & Serangoon.

2009-01-05T18:58:00.020+08:00

3rd of January:

SENTOSA!!!

What do you say?! FUCKEN FUN, of course because I have awesome friends! And a camera, which really just everything even more fun. We climbed trees, did Bollywood shoots, crossed the bridge, stood on rocks, went to the sea with sports bra huge tummies, check out hot people and... just relaxing in the sea. Like there were no worries (we have a lot, but you know how Sentosa can make you feel so much better, no?).

This is J and I!

Lion, J, Estelle and Hao.

He broke his nail, fucken ouch.

We chased this Cock for a good 5 minutes or so.

Oleh beach soccer!

On the rocks.

Koala bear!

Do you actually pronounce Koala as "Co-la" or "Ku-wah-la"?! Beats me 'cos I always think of it as "Ku-wah-la" but what comes out of my mouth is "Co-la". Ok, never mind about me.

Dating: Lionel and Ben.

I know... so sweet. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHALOL.

He was a fucken scared Koala bear. PWNED.

Koala with flower on the head!

Trying to get up...

We did it. Like, hooray.

The boys!

Bollywood lady and a retarded Bollywood male model wannabe.

"Oh, where is our curry?"

People Like Us Hangout Cafe @ Serangoon (night).

Err so we played with this Jenga (?) thing, it is fucken similar to Uno Stacko. Forfeit for loser, who made the entire structure fall. HAHA, first was me. It was so embarrassing. They picked a guy for me to say 'Hi' to. But it was fun, considering they were really a nice bunch of friendly people!

LOL.

Lionel's forfeit - HE'S LUCKY.

HAHAHAHAHA. Hao's forfeit!

Videos:

Damn, I sound like a kid.

Hao's forfeit.

WAH cb fucking tired. Update tomorrow!

Ok, tomorrow proper post.

2009-01-04T23:08:00.003+08:00

THERE IS THIS ANNOYING BASTARD WHO KEEPS TEXTING ME SAYIN' SHITZ LIKE "so long never meet le.. what u doing.." OR "tml u free?" OR "what u doing" OR "hai.. i miss the days we just met.." OR "tues meet?" OR "wednesday meet?" OR "friday meet?". LIKE WHAAAAAAAT?! WE MET AS A BUNCH OF FRIENDS OK.

KNN IT'S FUCKING OBVIOUS I DO NOT WISH TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT CB meet your fucking puki! Meet! Meet my ancestors in heaven you motherfucker! ANNOYING.

AND SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW.

MORE ANNOYING. FUCKING CHEEBYEJIBAIBAIBAI.

BYE LAH.

A nice house.

2009-01-03T01:52:00.003+08:00

It's 1.46 a.m and I just got home from Prata House...

I cycled pass a house where my dad used to work on, you know, the electrical stuff and all. It looks amazing but I find it disheartening to know that my dad works so hard for us but with his own eyes he has to witness how the rich people pay for the house without worrying about this and that and to see how fucken giantic the house is, living IN it would be his dream...

Maybe one day I'll make his dream come true.

/ Edited 1.06 a.m

I know I liked you once but... it's not going to work out. Not going to, never. If it's something cliche like "It's too late, you didn't call me at all", I'm sorry but it's true - it's the cliche. He came back, the romance is within us is still going strong. I thought I moved on but... you know what I mean. Too late.

Anyways I'm back home and it's late already. J, Hao, Lion, Ben and I took approximately 120 pictures so it's kinda hard to sort them out now. Tata!

Recap, renew.

2009-01-02T20:59:00.011+08:00

I could kill a person to prove to you how perfect I want my 2009 to be. 2008 was a fail... major tragic. Prolly the worst year ever. It was so bad I think the best month I had was January, when I got to spend my last Chinese New Year with my grandma. Other than that, I don't know if there's anything worst than...

1918 - 2008, I miss you grandma.

1. Being broke on Febuary, I left with $0. Yes, no kiddin'.
2. Still super financially tight (March).
3. Startin' to feel distant from C during April.
4. Not the best b'day - May.
5. Broke off with C on 21st June, had never been okay since then.
6. July was hell without C, I cried everyday.
7. Supposed to be celebrating our 2 years' anniversary on Aug but... you know.
8. 2nd September was the date grandma was admitted to the hospital, I still feel very sad. 18th September was Aisha's birthday but I couldn't give her the best. I am fucked up.
9. October was another bullshit month. I love grandma, so very much.
10. I nearly killed myself, fucken sad. Prolly the saddest day of my life. She left us on 8th of Nov.
11. Martell and I got drunk. 23rd of October, unforgettable.

And not to forget some things I found out about my parents, which, apparently made 2008 a more fucked up one. And my sister's relationships with her partners, really really bad. I want things to be better in '09, I want it to be holyshit good.

Aisha, Hao, Deb, Ah J, Saleha, Wei Xiang, Kim, Fathanah, Jem, Candy, Wendy, Lion, Nessa and Sean. All my homies I love yall so much :b I would've died in 2008 without all the superhuman support. Thanks so fucken much!

And C, thank you for making 31st December the most most most awesome one. We are hittin' another year since 2006. We are back again and I am going to kiss your lil ass when I see you, (L). Thank you for letting me know that I've not given up on you, thank you for indirectly sorting out my feelings... thank you Cbaby. Mwah.

And Eileen, we'll make 2009 a zillion times better than the motherfucking stupid retarded shitass '08.

Hip hip hooray!

Goodnight and sleep well, everyone!

200nine.

2009-01-01T12:30:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR, FUCKERS!!! FUCK 2008 BECAUSE IT SUCKED SO BAD. I LOVE ALL MY HOMIES WHO'VE BEEN WITH ME THROUGH SHIT AND URINE, I LOVE MY PARENTS FOR THE LOVE NO ONE CAN GIVE, I LOVE C!!!

2009 IS GOING TO BE KICKASS.

KICK. ASS.

I hope.

What a feeeeeeling!

2008-12-31T19:35:00.003+08:00

Okay you totally caught me off guard this time round, you got me speechless and I don't know if it's real. It's not real, is it? Or if it is, why do I feel that everything that's happening is so... surreal? Okay one two three four it's real... fo' sure. Ok, I am going to start my 2009 happy. Fucken happy. Ok I feel assured now.

xoxo

FUCKING HIGH AND HAPPY. NO ALCOHOL INCLUDED.

2008-12-31T00:16:00.005+08:00

I AM A FUCKING GIRL TODAY!!! TAKE THAT, BITCHES! I WORE A FLOWERY TOP! HAHAHAHAHA.

Hao: "WOAH. What happened to you today?!"
Hao's mum: "WAH, wear until so nice ah! Hair still got flower clip!"
Jem: "What the fuck, flower clip. Why you wear until like that!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I DID IT.

First step to Basic Girl Theory and then I'll proceed to Basic Girl Test. If I do fucken well I'd get Pariss treat from the boys and then Final Practical. WOWWWW I feel like a girl today! HAHAHA I know rightttt, I AM a girl but I... don't know. I think I have an invisible lanjiao.

Fuckin' hell, I spilled my green bubble tea (green tea bubble tea, Jasmine green tea in a bubble tea way, get it honey?) and it kinda got into my panty...

Est: "EH fuck, my pussy tio water!"
Lion: "CAN YOU PLEASE BE MORE FEMININE?!"
Est: "WHAT THE FUCK, my pussy there wet!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I know I know I've been trying so hard to become a girl... I will pass my test(s)!

Okay that aside, the boys and I went to town for SHOPPPPPPPPINGGGG. Nb that CB Jem was SO proud of his Asics I'm going to kick HIS ASS! HAHA you wait for my high-cut I'll bloody own you on CNY!

SIZE 5 PLEASE COME... (check out my right shoulder HAHAHA)

I bought a vest and a skirt... Hao was on shopping spree, he bought like 3 bottoms and a shirt. Lion and Jem bought really nothing. Fucken exhausting man, the shopping was like WTFTIRED. The night was still young when we ended our shopping. Hao and I decided we should cycle to Jem's house after we got home and put our stuff...

Est: "Steady k, I know the route. TPY exit."
Hao: "You take the lead."

So from Bishan St. 22 we got our asses on our bikes...

Hao: "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU NBCB, LONG CUT FUCK!"

Est: "SORRY LAH, LONG ROUTE NIA. I KNOW ONE K!"

Both: "HOLY SHIT.........."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA AT LEAST WE DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT TO BARTLEY. WE CYCLED LEFT AND GOT TO SERANGOON AVE. 3. BUT REALLY, GOTTA THANK THE STRANGER WHO TOLD US TO TURN LEFT, TURN RIGHT, RIGHT AND THEN LEFT. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

ONE BIG FUCKING ACHIEVEMENT OK!

FUCKFACE BEHIND ME.

OH THIS IS BEFORE LEAVING, MY NIKE ASS. WOO!

Ok now I'm at Jem's place and he farted twice and I ROFL-ed. Hao is playing PS3 and Saleha just went offline. :(

Where...?

2008-12-29T00:46:00.003+08:00

Every time I feel alone
I can blame it on you
And I do, oh
You got me like a loaded gun
Golden sun and the sky so blue, oh
We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice

(Chaque fois que tu ton va)
You just bring me down
(Je pretend que tu va bien)
So I’m counting my tears ‘til I get over you

What kind of mom will you be?

2008-12-27T20:55:00.009+08:00

It was just another boring night at home then I decided I should check out my dead Facebook so I came across this quiz and thought like, hey since I'm bored, why not?

I ROFL-ed.

I AM A WHATTTTT?! A MEMBER OF "MOTHER-I'D-LOVE-TO-FUCK"?!?!?! (You do know what is that, don't you!)

Damn sian you know.

2008-12-27T01:57:00.001+08:00

Oh yeah btw, I got killed by this shit on erm, X'mas eve that's why I said I fucked up. Amen.

I don't understand handbags.

2008-12-26T23:56:00.014+08:00

Yes, I really don't. I know right, yall must be thinking what the fuck is wrong with me?! I can never imagine myself walking, prancing, hopping around my friends with a bloody handbag. ERR, like I am so free to bother about that stupid thing hanging and dangling around my hands. No way, I like things packed in a bagpack and I CARRY it which means that my hands are actually... hmm, free to shop around or pinch my boys. Or punch whoever who likes to piss me off. Amazing.

This whole girly handbag thing has been bugging me quite terribly because I've yet to find the best slingbag and I have like 21941294132 handbags (you know, the sisters and the mum) flowing out of my closet because they like to stuff it in like that.

And you know I suspect that mum ripped the penis I once had when I was born and fixed me in a set of nice-looking vagina because really, I am a boy. I ACT LIKE 1, I SPEAK LIKE 1, I WALK LIKE 1. And you can add that I even eat like a boy. WAIT - I PEE LIKE A BOY! Like super fast, my pee just splashes out for 3 to approximately 5 seconds and I am done.

Plus I slap on anything I see in my forever-messy-never-will-be-neat wardrobe and off I leave the goddamn house. Think my name should really be Estelle Soh Jin Dao. Instead of Estelle Soh Rui Qi.

2.55 or a Porter collection?

No to 2.55, yes to Porter.

Flats or dunks?

Gojane.com

No to flats, yes to Dunks (or any other sneaks).

Am I a boy or a girl?
(Pics from Lookbook.nu)

I...

don't know...

I fucked up on X'mas eve but it's okay.

2008-12-24T16:47:00.001+08:00

I am going to clean up my fucking room before 2009 arrives, dump away all the rubbish and whatnots in my room. I am going to get a haircut and do my nails, then get my ears pierced. Aiming for 7 holes because if you noticed E.S.T.E.L.L.E is of 7 letters. Wow... I do have many holes, don't I? :)

I am going to trim my brows, go for jogs. Start drinking warm drinks and cut down on unhealthy food.

Resolution for 2009?

Be a good girl...

At least... I have dreams.

Wow. LOL.

I'm back.

2008-12-21T22:19:00.002+08:00

Ah I had so much on my mind while I was on the hotel bed falling asleep and I think I'd forgotten most about what I wished to type here... but it's alright, most of the thoughts are sad anyway, so why bother? Hmm.

FUCKING GENTING. FUCK YOU.

2008-12-18T22:30:00.003+08:00

I feel like punching someone in the stomach right now because my mood is at the lowest point. It's not an everyday affair that my mood's like that, I cannot help it. I don't do moodswings and if I do, I'd try to hide it. But this time round I really feel like punching someone in the stomach and break all of the rib bones.

I cannot believe a trip which I thought would be exciting and pleasant is driving me insane. Sean's not going, Ness is not going, Wendy is not going. I am going to die there. I am. I am probably going insane over there because no one, no fucking one is going to talk to me. I don't talk to my aunts and if we do actually verbally interact with each other, it'd be times when they'd nag and nag and nag at how I should be doing this and not that.

Even if I enter the fucking casino there's no shit I can do there because I'm not even bloody interested in paying my own money to win money. Thank you very much. I really, want, to murder, someone right now. Talk about rollercoaster rides, wow, I actually do feel pretty fucking lonely because why? I'd be the only one whose interested in shitz like that.

Wow. So exciting.

To think I am not going online in about a few hours time and to think I gotta miss talking to Stan and friends, to think I am going to miss my beloved pillows and bolsters, I am going to jump off the fucking cliff.

WOW.

I cannot believe this shit.

WOW.

I really want to punch someone.

/ Edited

I WANT. TO KILL. SOMEONE. 7 hours of... going there and another 7 of coming back...

Annoying bills.

2008-12-18T19:11:00.002+08:00

Est: "Eh, guess my FIRST handphone bill."
Est: "3 digits."

Lion: "Err... $251?"

Est: "Nope."

Lion: "Erm... $300?"
Lion: "$400?"

Est: "Nope..."

Lion: "$100 plus?!"

Est: "$___.00 +++!"

Lion: "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK!"

Est: "Guess my SECOND handphone bill."

Lion: "$500 plus???"

Est: "No. Got improvement leh."

Lion: "$300? $400?"

Est: "$418.00."

Lion: "WHAT THE FUCK! #$@%@&^$^^*(#@!"

Est: "Guess my THIRD handphone bill."

Lion: "$200? $100? $90?!"

Est: "No handphone."

Hao: "LOL!"

Est: "Guess my FORTH handphone bill?"
Est: "$18 per week, jitao straight away prepaid. Knn!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Everyone, please guess the amount of my first handphone bill! No presents though, but it is fun guessing!

My head got balooku.

2008-12-17T22:43:00.003+08:00

"OoOoOoOoOo... SIREN, WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?! OOO, SIREN PLEASE KISS ME. OOO, SIREN STOP IT. OO SIREN, LET ME HUG YOU. OO, STOP IT, NAUGHTY SIREN! DAMMMMNNN CUTE OMG, SIREN YOU ARE DAMN CU..."

BAM.

Siren pushed me back and...

my head knocked on to the door behind.

As loud as thunder, as pain as hell.

I repeat - as loud as thunder, as pain as hell.

/ Edited 12.52 a.m

FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY CLEANED UP MY RP MAIL! HAHAHAHAHA. STOP SENDING ME! I WON'T READ!

Sports Meet.

2008-12-17T17:22:00.001+08:00

I am in the Eden after rounds and rounds of tennis and swimming! What a healthy lifestyle, yay! HAHAHA be right back! :)

Akon Air Con.

2008-12-17T00:06:00.001+08:00

This song is sooooooooooooooo good that it's up in my head 24/7. The boys are getting irritated by my 'RIGHT NOW NA NA NA NA~' but really, I don't give a fuck. HAHAHAHAHAHA. RIGHT NOW NA NA NA NA, I WANNA MAKE UP RIGHT NA NA NA NA NA~

You make me so hot.

2008-12-16T18:40:00.006+08:00

It was a fucked up lovelife back when I was 14 to 15. It could've lasted longer without the cuts and bruises. Sometimes, knives and threats. It was horrible, those memories never leave my head. But I could tell people about this chapter of my life because there's nothing that I am hiding. Then another one started from 15 to 17... I had no fear but it was when my love was fucking taken for granted. Held on strong till he shook me away. Haha, call me a retard but I was so blinded by love.

I used to fight for what I thought was right and there was no fear in me. I used to be such a brave girl, to believe that I could go against all odds with the person whom I fell for. I thought there was forever and ever, I thought there was happily ever after.

It was hurtful and it's still hurting.

Now, I could just continue liking someone forever... without the partner's feelings reciprocated. Because I am afraid.

Anyway enough of all those emotional crap I think I'm back on track! Today was a basketball day with my boys at the park. Just like any random days where we'd do sports and hang out at Hao's place.

Bishan \m/

We likey balls.

Had to wear mum's 'cos I lost mine 450 years ago.

Someone please stop me from biting my nails...

The reason why the boys find me irritating because I adore torturing them, seeing their lil sad fuckfaces moan in pain. HAHAHAHAHAHA, justtttttttttt kidding! I was cooking, me, yes, me, cooking noodles for them and then I used the bloody hot chopsticks and poked Lion.

1 word.

SHIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK.

Tennis or Sean's place tomorrow! Can't wait.

Almost.

2008-12-15T04:04:00.001+08:00

It's 4.04 a.m... and I still can't sleep. I am actually fucking tired but something's on my mind. Something and someone... Sigh.

Very fuckin' random happenings.

2008-12-14T21:00:00.007+08:00

Complain #1: I hate how my mum is always feigning ignorance to my words and thoughts and then putting her energy into speaking to Wendy or anyone else. But then again, would the things I say matter at all? It's not jealousy. No, trust me, it's not.

Complain #2: 9 more days to BBQ :(

Complain #3: My short-term memory is not a joke anymore.

You know I actually thought today was a Saturday! The conversation went like this...

Est: "Woah eh, tomorrow is Sunday huh."
Hao: "... *pauses for a moment* ... today's a Sunday."
Est: "HUH OMG, TODAY IS SUNDAY?! Then what was I doing yesterday?!"
Hao: "We went to do some flag day charity work and Counter Strike..."
Est: "OMG OMG. THEN WHEN DID I MEET MY DAD FOR DINNER?!"
Hao: "That wuz on Friday."
Est: "WHICH REMINDS ME... Friday was the last day I saw Stanley!"
Hao: "..."
Est: "OMGOMG. SO TOMORROW IS MONDAY?! HAHAHAHA."

Complain #4: I tripped.

Right around here when Lion, Hao and I were laughing our balls off about some bloody retarded joke. Hao was warning me that if I ever tripped, he's going remember it for his entirely dog life. I was still laughing and laughing until... yes, I tripped.

Complain #5:

Hao stinked.

Complain #6: All I wanted to do was to freak the guys out with the almighty umbrella because the fresh raindrops on it would wet their shirts and faces BUTTTTTTTTTT I swung it back too hard that...

I kinda broke it?

LOLLOLLOL! SORRY AH!

WTF.

Deepest sympathies to the Burberry-inspired umbrella...

Complain #7: A phone call in the morning was enough to make me happy. Heh heh. But I had to sit in the pouring rain to support friends on this friendly match but it got screwed up at the end of the day...

Pouring like shitz.

Getting all pumped up!

During the game...

Result? 8:1.

A WIN! :D

Complain #8: They say pointing at a full moon would get your ears hurt or something. And that's the reason why I still do not dare to point at it...

But it was beautiful...

Complain #9: LOLWTF?

Do something about it already!

Complain #10: It was 9th of December... I smashed the birthday cake on her face but ended up having the MOST chocolate cream all over my head. I ran to a place only to know that it was a dead end and BAM, the cake flew to my hair. Result? My hair was smelling like... yes, chocolate cream.

LOL.

They had to help me wash my hair.

-_-

C.H.U.I.

2008-12-11T19:27:00.003+08:00

Oh my god!!! I have been feeling so fucking sleepy for past 1 week! And it's like those veryyyyyyy jia lat kinda sleepy (I know, my English is becoming atrocious)! I haven't had a proper FULL meal since God knows when... I am losing my appetite and all my cravings for pizza, sushi, chicken wings and never ending list of food subsides to the minimum, or to zero.

And just today 3 of my friends asked what was wrong with me because I looked so horrible. My eyebags are horrible, I've got sore eyes and and and I've got no mood to talk... thanks for the concern people, I am fine...

I WILL BE FINE! :)

I hope! Hehe.

Math Module.

2008-12-10T13:33:00.002+08:00

JIBAI FUCK YOU. Make me dulan only nb!

/ Edited 3.26 p.m

Above picture kinda depicts how my stomach has been ever since Sem 1. It just never stops churning in the morning and it stops in the afternoon. It's painful and very sad 'cos I can feel that my a-hole is about to burst with shitloads of shit.

Recently for about a week or 2 my stomach churns like that. This churn, has noises and then it slowly fades away. My classmates can hear it and it's funny. Not much shit... but it's uncomfortable.

P.S: Black churn is louder than red churn.

Like.

2008-12-09T22:37:00.002+08:00

There are a lot of possibilities in the world, that could happen. And it will affect me in 3 either ways... possibilities that would fuck me up and make me sad, possibilities that would make me extremely happy and lastly, possibilities that are still okay, borderline at just about everything.

And other than possibilities, I have insecurities.

After a failed relationship about half a year ago I lost all my trust and confidence. Broke down like a little girl I swear I'd never fall in love again (for about 10 minutes). But I never thought I would... I would... sigh.

I don't know what to do.

Peace.

2008-12-09T02:18:00.003+08:00

I am beat!

Am making a birthday card for a princess and my back is aching AND my stomach just grumbled. Tell me it's not hunger because there's no food anywhere in the house. :(

It's 2.18 a.m and almost everyone's asleep.

I made a mess out of my room because of the things I had to cut and paste on the birthday card... I just gave my dog one of my t-shirts so that she wouldn't feel cold in the freezin' December. I... miss that Puki. I hope I am happy.

I don't know what this post is about... Hahaha I'm going crazy hahahaha 'cos I'm damn tired but I can't sleep.

Oh I miss my grandma... more than anything else in the world. It's so weird to know that she's not around anymore... just... a month ago. It's the 30th day and I am still emotionally struggling with her death. It's not as bad as the first few days but I am still in disbelief that she's gone.

I cannot, cannot, cannot forget the day she was on her hospital bed. Her body so still, so cold and she wasn't moving, wasn't at all... it was 5.48 in the morning. Her face... vividly stays in my mind. The greatest woman left. What am I left with now?

She left a golden necklace for me and I know she loves me very much. I hate how young I was back then... too young to know anything. Too young to know that grandma's sick and that I had to go to her place and visit her. Too young to learn that if she's gone she'll never be back.

I think I live with regrets now but I'll make it up for her. I'll love her forever and I'll never forget someone so dear to me... never...

I miss you Nainai.

Lucky so cute.

2008-12-07T03:21:00.000+08:00

Punch your face.

100 种生活

2008-12-06T15:21:00.003+08:00

Such a brilliant song. :)

/ Edited 4.53 p.m

Lucky damn cute, ignore the guy.

/ Edited 8.31 p.m

Tell me how do I bare to leave the school when friendships are solidified like how breasts need nipples? :(

It kinda just strucked me how I'm going to miss Aisha, Adela, Hao, WX, Sean, Lionel, Siew Huay, W35E, W15R and W16Q when I'm outta school... Like I'm going to a place, somewhere far. I wouldn't be able to just walk a flight of stairs up to 16Q to play NFS. I won't be able to see Aisha and Adela for breakfast. I won't be able to leave school for home with Hao. I won't be able to see WX. I won't be able to let Stanley pinch me. I won't be able to go for talks. I won't be able to sit in Lionel's car anymore. I won't be able to spend quality time with them if I am in NAFA...

Oh my god.

Tell me how...

If I could kill my stomach.

2008-12-04T09:30:00.003+08:00

My stomach is churning and why is my heart aching like a pro, thank you very much. I am suffering in class and I only spent a mere 19 minutes on the UT because my stomach tak boleh tahan and it's churning and spinning and swirling and stabbing me and punching me in the stomach walls.

estelle says:
why must i be a girl hor

estelle says:
sian

estelle says:
my cramps like nb

Stanley says:
LOL

estelle says:
got boobs, got menses, need to give birth, menopause

Wait... I don't know if it's my period because it's churning!!! It's not supposed to be bloody churning and spinning and all sorts. It's supposed to be just cramps.

WHY MUST I HAVE 2 BURDENS IN FRONT OF ME?! AND BELOW ME?! AND ANOTHER BURDEN WHEN I'M PREGNANT?! WHY!

Like my wife. EDITED!

2008-12-03T11:25:00.009+08:00

Aisha's just like my wife... who knows me well and sometimes can't give a fuck about me 'cos I am annoying like that. MUAHAHA. Ok, I love you Sha.

See you again soon baby! :)

-
-
-

C H A N G I N G / M O O D...

-
-
-

If you want people to treat you like you're the only atas princess in the world, don't fuck things up and don't fuck people's hearts then maybe I'll be a little nicer to you. I am not on your side because of your bloody obnoxious doings and how incredibly inconsiderate you are. And no, I only see who is wrong and who is right. I don't care if you have all sorts of blood relations with me. The whole world's not yours and you can't make everyone like you so stop trying and stop avoiding all the harsh pinches in life you face.

XOXO,
your sis.

/ Edited 11.41 p.m

I got back home around late 9 plus and all I wanted was a good shower because the weather's a motherfucker and you feel all sticky and gross. Mister Sun, tell me why are you so fucked up.

Okay so after school was an evening of soccer watching because the 16Q boys were playing in the court. I was some sorta mascot or commentator or supporter, you pick one or all. Stanley is my new friend and he nearly got rammed by a full speed spinnin' ball haha.

My jaws almost dropped and his heart could have fell off his body because he was soooo freaked out.

Stanley's Oakley Silly.
(And there you can see Lionel... hehe.)

I don't understand soccer.
(And and and here you can see Lionel, Hao and some other people...)

So I had all the time thinking about the little little things that happened in the huge court...

It's ironic how some people smoke in a court, waiting to EXERCISE AND KEEP FIT.
If you are fat, you get mocked at.
If you're good, they get jealous.
The hostel's pretty damn gorgeous. They having balconies!
If you play rough, you'd be condemned like, forever.
I'll kick your balls if the ball hits me.
I hate soccer boys with men-boobs and flaccid penises.

OK BYE!

Morning coffee don't work.

2008-12-02T10:47:00.003+08:00

Hi good morning.

I don't know why I'm feeling so zonked out all stoney and sad this morning. Like I could just pack my bag and go home. Talk about skipping school...

I read people's blogs and they seem to be living their lives to the brim. How I wish I could be like them... oh how I wish.

Sudden urge of burnin' down the school, LOL.

2008-12-01T01:47:00.005+08:00

Going to school is like going to another place... like my home, where I can surf the net and play online games and then do a little bit of day dreaming, a little bit of... sleeping. Well that is if you minus the facilitator and the work you have to put in... but seriously, I really think my school life in RP has been an absurd waste of MY bloody time.

After looking at the notes I used to write during my secondary school days, I'd really like to learn things through books and proper lectures or whatever lessons I can benefit from. If you think getting already-done work from other people of other classes are "doing work", then I really gotta give it up to all the people out there who are struggling with lectures, common tests and examinations. When I say people out there, I mean people in NYP, NP, SP, NAFA, TP, MDIS, SMU, SIM, SMS, SBS, KNN, CCB, YMCA and the colleges...

I really want to leave the school.

Because if I don't, I can totally imagine myself ripping heads off the facilitators because they can only "guide" us, not teach us. Wtf.

/ Edit 8.47 a.m

What a start to a fresh 1st of December when I witnessed a cockroach crawling around on my sister's bed (she sleeps in the same room as me). I am having this body rash thinking that it could be caused by this cockroach. Imagine the pang of disgust and horror as I watched that little creature prancing around happily until I... WHACKED IT WITH MY BIOLOGY NOTEBOOK. MUAHAHAHA, talk about evil Stifmeister! And dad changed my bed like last week and that's when my body rash came...

I NEED TO CHANGE MY BED.

AND SISTER HAS TO CHANGE HER BEDSHEET COVER.

/ Edit 2.25 p.m

Oh my god I used to be a strong girl and maybe that's why I didn't realise I've been sick for about a week or 2 already! I am having sorethroat and flu! That's like one in a million times...

A food day.

2008-11-28T01:01:00.005+08:00

I am a foodie, period. But as much as I love food and I mean, all types of food, I've never bought my own sandwich from Subway. It's always my friends who've helped me with the orders and that's just about it.

Today...

Man: "Hi, 6 inch or a foot long, madam?"
Est: "Mmm, let's just gimme a 6 inch, thanks."
Man: "What would you like to put in to your sandwich?"

Est: "Whaaaaaaaaat? Actually you know I've never really ordered a sandwich myself before so could you please help me?"

Man: "..."
Est: "So sorry."
Man: "Well you can choose from the menu, madam!"
Est: "Aight... thanks."

You don't know how embarrassing the whole situation was, I wanted to bury my face into the ground because we had like 10 seconds of awkward stare, it's just weird.

Okay so I was saying today's a food day... we were extremely sad that our exercise regime has failed, officially today. But we were still delighted by the amount of food we've consumed and it was goooood, alllll was good.

Morning breakfast started off with...

x Pepper Lunch with mum
(I know righttt! HAHA what a fucking breakfast)

x 3 bites of Subway sandwich

Omgxfatty me! Lionel & Hao.

And then met up with the usuals to a trip to the Subordinate Court (hello, I'm still qualified for the Juvenile Court... all you oldies HAHAHA) then to Alexandra Hospital for Hao's knee check-up. And THEN it was with a trip down to Ikea. AWESOMEMOSEWA.

We had...

x Chicken wings
x Meatballs
x Poached salmon
x Potatoes
x Cheesecakes
x Hams
x Spaghetti
x Strawberry cake
x Hot dog buns
x Ice cream

And that's about 156 kg.

Anchorpoint was the next stop where all the piggies got their fresh poultries, sauces, vegetables and blah blah blah from.

We bought...

x Beef steaks (yum)
x Porkchops
x A potato
x A pack of mushrooms
x A pack of salad
x 1 bottle of hot chocolate poweder
x 2 packets of sauces
x 1 packet of chocolate
x 3 cans of preserved fruits
x 1 huge packet of apple juice
x A set of Yakult

And we are coooooooking tomorrow. :)

Hot Perry.

2008-11-25T22:04:00.002+08:00

She's my fantasy, :p

And I am happy to have my hair dyed Katy's black.

Learning to fly.

2008-11-24T00:13:00.004+08:00

Just thinking: Seriously, I'd lie to a sad person to make him or her happy because they live in a pack of lies, they live in denial and if I tell them something good about the lies they live in, they become happy. Of course it's so bloody hard to tell them the truth. Sometimes in love, we just... gotta let go. I know you love her and blah blah blah, but no, she does not fancy you anymore. And to the rest, learn to let go...

And as I am typing this, I am reminding myself I have to let go too. One step at a time, baby, but not for long... sometimes you have to run away from your broken relationship even though it's so fucking hard to. Yes, ~~Jordin Sparks,~~ it's more than just one step at a time.

Ok, I'm done.

Next up... introducing my exercising khakis.

Estelle, Dhwan, Lionel & Hao.

With the help of Hao's self-timer...

End of workout:

I cannot wait to exercise again. Although I pray fucking hard not to hurt my stomach muscle and my left knee, let's just hope everything turns out fine. Estelle wants to feel fit. ~~and skinny~~

OKAY BYE.

2008-11-23T16:24:00.003+08:00

Aisha and I days back... (I am still lazy to post all the pics, fuck)

I keep staring, staring and staring at my sister's jet black bob. In case you are wondering what the fuck is that (this is to Ah Hao), it's a sleek short haircut in deep black colour. Tell me about it... I'm so sick of my brown hair now. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! I DYED RED FOR GOD'S SAKE and it's gone in like 3 weeks or something. I LOVE RED, don't dig brown... Even if I had to choose brown, I'd go for lighter brown which is more obvious.

So I was saying that I am staring at my sister's black hair, makes me wanna dye it alllll black again because I wanna look like a doll. HAHAHAHAHAHA BULLSAI.

Seriously, my hair is so not 3 not 4 and I wanna rip it apart and become bald. I don't know why I have this sudden urge to dye my hair black. I think 80% is because of my sister... Either that I really do miss my 2007 black hair.

Shithead...

Angry Estelle.

2008-11-23T02:20:00.002+08:00

One thing about me is that I cannot, cannot, cannot stand irritatingly noisy people and they do not know when to shut the fuck up and they never stop yakking. NEVER. STOP. I mean if you are still jokin' around and playin' a fool I can understand that but you diss me about the things I do and say and repeat them for like, 1520 times and then you start nagging AGAIN because your life is just bullshit like that AND THEN you start nagging about how the people around you are so fucked up. You just don't know you are the fucked up one, right?

This is to yall:
YOU FUCKING JIAOBIN. YOU SHUT UP BEFORE I WHACK YOUR GRANDSON. ALL OF YOU, SHOW SOME RESPECT TO GRANDMOTHER AND FUCKING STOP TALKING!

This is to you:
JUST STOP TALKING. JUST STOP IT. NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. BEFORE I RIP YOUR BREASTS APART, JUST SHUT UP OK. JUST SHUT UP.

God.

Ok holy shit.

2008-11-20T12:41:00.001+08:00

School's making me fucking exhausted.

Amazin' grades.

2008-11-19T09:03:00.002+08:00

17, 27, 47, 57.

2008-11-17T22:53:00.002+08:00

A relationship can fuck up even when you are 27, 37 or 47 or even 57... So I was laughing at myself today, I'm only 17 and why the fuck should I worry about losing a man now? Things will always change, they will.

You spend 10 years with your loverboy and one day he decides to leave you because he's so used to having you around and he needs some thrill fucking other vaginas out there, hanging out with friends and watch late-night soccer which you restricted him to before that. By the time you are already 27, a supposedly time for you to already settle down...

I'm still young (and tight), baby, I still am.

Grandma grabbed me.

2008-11-17T11:08:00.002+08:00

:)

(Those, are bruises btw.)

I love you, Nainai.

2008-11-16T23:20:00.003+08:00

I can't do things perfectly because if I do, it'll take a decade or two to complete because I am just like that. So Imma just say this... My grandmother... She'll always stay in my heart as the greatest most awesomest woman 4ever.

Ever.

Quickie.

2008-11-15T13:18:00.004+08:00

I am watching 篮球火.

And I just confirmed that I have a thing for guys who are in their 20s.

/ Edit 7:41 pm

I know I'm always typing at random hours... and it's boring. But I can't help it. I just had KFC in the afternoon and dad had to buy me a packet of chicken rice for dinner. I hope I won't die of excessive consumption of chicken and I hope they are Australia chickens because I know the China ones are sick... Hmm.

Kickstart my heart.

2008-11-14T22:01:00.003+08:00

Hiiiiii, I put all my previous entries to sleep. Unfortunately, it's not the brand new happy Estelle you people used to know. I am mediocre and this blog is horrible. Welcome back to this fuckin' melancholy land. Enjoy your stay here.

/Edit

My keyboards are screwin' me up real bad, so grandma's b'day post is delayed. I want to make an almost perfect entry for the greatest woman.

And I really feel like slamming my laptop because it's so retarded. It's official, fuck Dell. But I love Dell 'cos it's colourful. But fuck man, there's so many people out there complainin' about shithead Dell. Idk, I really don't know. I will be back...

Will try to keep myself busy on Saturday.

If not I'll die 'cos I'm damn depressed.